Encaustic Cyanotype

Coming from a life of almost total solitude and independence is undoubtedly a rare thing, and I can appreciate how it may not be valued.  Not realizing the extent of the changes that I would face upon giving up my independence, or the changes that were expected of me, the only thing I could do is hold my emotions in.  Unfortunately, it wasn’t that simple.  However, when I discovered a vehicle for converting my emotions into something less destructive, it was as if a door had opened.  When I finally reached my breaking point, these puppets gave me a way to express how I was feeling, even if I was unable to deal with the reality of what was causing me to feel so helpless. “Monsters Don't Sleep Under Your Bed, They Scream Inside Of Your Head” is my way of coping with the feelings I am faced with.

"Outside and Out of Touch"  Encaustic over Cyanotype

“Outside and Out of Touch” is an expression of my inner struggle dealing with fitting in.  I’ve been a loner for as long as I can remember and have never really come to terms with who I am, or better yet, who I am not.  There always seem to be walls preventing me from connecting with others.  Making art tears down those walls and allows me to feel free to express myself without having to defend myself.  I love working with string puppets.  They are a vessel for so many of my emotions and mostly, they express universal emotions. 

"Longing For Someone To Get It"  is an Encaustic Photographic process using hot wax over a cyanotype print on board

“Longing for Someone to Get It” is my struggle within raising its ugly head when my inability to communicate prevents me from leading a normal, productive life.  So many times have I given up and given in that it has become the ‘norm’.  This image is one I am very fond of because when people look at it they understand or have something they can relate to about it, and I don’t have to say anything.  I feel as though I am free of my frustrations when I work with these puppets, even if only for a moment.  I think that everyone has these moments, and everyone has that special someone or something with which they can safely silently say, ‘you get it!’  ‘Giving in’ is one approach to being set free.

I love it when you go antiquing and find those little box cameras for ten bucks!  Expecially the ones that take 120 film!  So, yesterday I got two of them, $10 each, and a Pentax K1000 (no lens) for dirt cheap!  What better way to learn medium format photography than with a box camera?  What a great day!

Isn't it amazing when you look back on your life and realize how time has passed.  It seems I've been taking an awfully lot for granted with photography.  I never really thought about the things I learned in grade school that I never thought about, yet, could barely make it through a darkroom session without them.  For instance; multiplication tables.  Do you know your multiplication tables?  I do because my dad made me!  But yet, I haven't decided whether they're applicable in the ordinary world.  Is photography so un-ordinary?